We lived in the big two story Vias house with Rex's folks for over a year. Our first child, Mary Lee, was born while we lived there on- June 20, 1945. I remember so well that as we drove by Oscar and Verda Vias’ place,-Verda looked out the window and waved, wondering, "Will it be a boy or a girl." Mary weighed 8 pounds and 3 ounces, was round, and had lots of dark hair. She was a good baby right from the first. Her grandma Chat adored her. I had a very hard time in birth; Dr. Russell Tigert delivered Mary. He said that my tares were 3rd degree. Mother came to stay and help for a month. She and Grandma Chat made two Grandmas taking care of baby, and I. It may have been during this visit with us that Mother took an umbrella and climbed to the top of a near high hill. She loved Mary Lee too.
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| Our Cabin in Grays Lake (FRL0005) |
The fact that the birth of children and their importance and influence in their parent's lives is not disputed. When Mary Lee, our first child, was born, Mother, Edith Hayes, was working in California. She sent a large box filled with lovely gifts for the "Little Princess" which became the name of our darling Mary Lee. How her Grandma Vias loved this little one and was saddened when we moved into our own little house down the road North a ways. Mary Lee was a very good baby. See the picture of her in the high chair in our little kitchen. When she was about 20 months old she could recite a number of nursery rhymes. So many, many gifts were given to her, miscellaneous things to wear and play with. She was born either just before the close of World War II (between the surrender of Germany and 6 weeks before the Japanese surrendered). LaRue and Al Lindstrom’s baby Nancy was born near the same time and as they grew they become good friends. I was quite ignorant about the care of an raising of babies. Mistakes were made I'm sure and more loving attention could have been given. She was kept clean, and fed but I was the baby in the family I grew up in and I did not have the experience that a sibling from a group of children would have.
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| Precious Mary Lee (CDH0307) |
Rex was about the same in regards to parental maturity. He was the youngest of four boys for over 11 years until Buster came along. I suffered so much misery for so long after Mary's birth due to the 3rd degree tears and stitches that I couldn't enjoy her as much as if I had not been so miserable. HOWEVER--this beautiful little baby girl with lots of dark hair soon spoke up for herself and won our hearts, minds and souls. It didn't take long for her to become very precious to her Mommy and Daddy, and Grandparents and neighbors as well as other relatives. She was our FIRST.
When Mary was about 2-or 3 1 had already worked with her a lot in teaching her to play the piano, say nursery rhymes, and sing songs by memory. One day she stood on the kitchen table and said "Little Boy Blue" lowering her voice more and more as she said it, and slapping the side of her leg; she was so adorable. Also at about that same age, she went out and climbed into our four door Ford car. By pressing the starter over and over again (the car was in gear) she was able to get the car part way through the fence. We were do relieved that she .was not hurt.
When Mary was three years old she led the Primary Conference in the theme; and again when she was four; this was Ward Primary Conference. The Stake Primary President was Mrs. Christopherson, mother of my girlhood friend, Georgia Lee.
I took the girls to church, (Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School) on Sunday and to Primary on a weekday right after school. Primary was held in the school in Wayan. I served as teacher for different classes, secretary and counselor to the President. One year I was the teacher for Mary Lee's class. She, Beverly Johnson and Nancy Lindstrom were the same age. I remember how Nancy seemed to pay little attention and did a lot of visiting with the other children one day; but the next day of class she was able to answer more questions in the review of the week before than any other class member. THAT GOES TO SHOW THAT YOU CANNOT TELL HOW MUCH 0NE IS LEARNING BY HIS OUTWARD BEHAVIOUR IN CLASS.
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| My Relief Society Presidency; Left to Right Alice Stoor, Colleen, Ree Somsen,?, Marry Sibbett, Virginia Muir (CDH0314) |
It was my pleasure to work, from time to time, in the different auxiliaries in the Sunday School I was a teacher, organist and chorister. (Not all at the same time,) In Mutual I was a teacher and helped accompany on the piano for musicals and had a part in several plays. In the Relief Society I taught different classes (at different times), was organist chorister, counselor, and President. I had a delightful taste of fellowship and learned to know and love many people I worked with over the years. I also taught a Beginning Conductor's course at Wayan. While serving-as Relief Society President I visited every home in north Gray's Lake, South Gray's Lake, Enoch Valley and Henry. The distance from one point north to the far point south of the boundary of our ward was 60 miles. This was due to the fact that Grays Lake had the only church in that area. My testimony grew very strong for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Holding the position I did, felt obligated to read the lessons, and as a result I learned a lot and was knowledgeable. Serving as my counselors were (two at a time, with changes occurring due to moving and health problems) Ree Somsen, and Mary Sibbett. Then Benda Burton and Ruth Stoor. Florence Jensen first, then LaRue Coombs as secretary. Some of our teachers were: Martha Soderman, Leatha Tingey, Doris Humphreys, and Eliza Lai Sibbett and others. Men who were bishops during the three years I was Relief Society President were J. C. Smith and Glade Sibbett. Rex was not a member of the church at the time. We often had a lot of snow in our lane that we took north to get to the highway. Whenever Rex said, "You can't make it through that much snow”, I was determined to make it. When approaching the drifts, I poured on the gas and the girls and I went flying through. (Little Frank, too later)
My sister Margie came and stayed to help while I was in Soda having surgery, I believe it was. (or it may have been when I had one of the babies later.) Mary was not very big; perhaps about 7 or 8 years old. Margie said one day, 'Oh! I would like to have a chicken to cook." She didn't think anymore about it. Soon in came Mary Lee with a chicken dripping with blood where its head had been. Mary Lee fulfilled her Aunt Margie’s wish.Oscar and Verda bought the Sam Sibbett ranch located on the east side of Wayan. Tom Lallatin and Lillian bought the farm where the Vias' had been. They were our closest neighbors. Their daughter Carmen Sue, was the same age as Mary Lee. We spent a lot of time together. The two little girls were mischievous; one time they cut each other’s hair; another time they tried smoking Indian tobacco that grows wild and many other mischievous acts. Tom and Rex had worked together on Jack Young's Dude Ranch years before and were very close friends. Lillian was a nurse, and an extraordinary good manager. She was the supervisor of the hospital for awhile, driving back and forth the 33 miles, approximately, to Soda Springs, Idaho. The Lallatins moved to New Castle, Wyoming where they purchased a Dry Cleaning business. (They are still with it today, 1981) We were extremely sad to see them move so far away.
Other friends that we spent time with were: Paul and June Swain (and their family), Bud and Mable Swain, Reed and Doris Humphreys ( and their family), Keith and Leitha Tingey (and their family), Ruth and Odell Stoor (and-their family. Their second daughter, Julia, was born the same day as our daughter Monna and they were good friends; they shared their birthday parties etc.) Farrell and Margaret Stoor (and their children) --- we spent a lot of time together for a number of years, Lew and Robert Stoor (near neighbors who were bachelor gentlemen), Frances and Bus Ray (and Danny), Dan and Ida Morgan (brother and sister who never married), Buster and Laura McMullin, Jack and Gem Nuffer, Lee and Marvel Nelson (Margaret' parents), John and Martha Soderman, Alice and Emil Stoor, Jess and Florence Jensen, Lyle and Benda-Burton, Ree and Earl Somsen (Rex's cousin) Ray and June Reese and others. We picnicked together, went to rodeos had dinner at each others' homes, went on trips to Jackson Hole and Jenny's Lake, Wyoming, and Yellowstone park. Mary and Russell Sibbetts were our friends that we did things with too. Neighboring men got together for shearing, branding, threshing grain, housewarmings and helping with buildings sometimes. Folks were so quick to help each other and to come when there was sickness, a birth, a death, etc. Any problem usually found a neighbor or a friend there to help. Roy and Wilda Vias, and Oscar and Verda Vias were relatives by marriage and very good friends. 'We did things together, too. Rex had quite a few relatives his father's sister, Mattie Somsen, and husband Garrett, their children Earl, Elaine, Frank (who was nearest Rex's age), Robert (Bob), and Leith; His mother's sister, Vera Sibbett, and husband Cecil, their children , Gayle, Buddy (known as Ray) and Blaine (who was Mary Lee’s age and they shared their birthday parties). His Mother's father-lived with them, William Edison Dray. Rex's step brothers were: Oscar, Roy and Alfred. There may be mistakes in spelling of some names above.
All these relatives lived in Wayan and Gray, in the Grays Lake Valley. Wayan in the south part and Gray in the North. The old church (of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) was located in Gray about 6 miles north of our home. The valley floor was mostly hay, natural and alfalfa, and pastures. Some grain was planted and sometimes matured; our beef cattle, milk cows and sheep gave us some income. Rex also worked for the Lower Valley Power and Light Company (office in Freedom, Wyoming) as pole climber and repairman. This was after electricity came to the valley; Mary was just a very little girl. Rex also climbed poles and did repair work for the Gray's Lake Telephone Company. There were over 30 phones on one line; they were the old fashioned crank type; our rings were something like this: long, short, long, short for the Isaac Vias, and two longs and two shorts was our ring.
Rex worked hard and succeeded in getting a mail route around the loop and past our front gateway. It seemed so nice to have the mail delivered right to our home lane. He also helped organize the American Farm Bureau Organization in Gray's Lake; he sold the first charter insurance for automobiles out there. He also helped effect group health and accident (hospital) insurance for the Gray's Lake people. Rex served as one of the Farm Bureau in Caribou County Board of Directors secretary, and was in the presidency of the Gray's Lake Farm Bureau at one time.
May 8, 1948. Precious Monna Jean made her entrance into the world and our family. By now both Rex and I had matured more. Sweet Monna Jean, also was born with lots of hair, was slender, had blue eyes and weighed in at 8 lbs. 5 oz. All five children were born in the old hospital in Soda Springs, Idaho. I remember laying in the bed and looking across the rather small room to the right of the bed and seeing the little head with dark hair close beside me. A feeling of wonder and awe came over me and I felt blessed to be a Mother. I believe I did the same thing with Mary Lee. Seeing the little tiny fingers and toes so perfectly formed surely must have made me praise and thank God. Little did I know then that this precious one would grow up and be so staunch in her love for the Lord and devotion to the Church. Monna had blue eyes, was slender, and after her dark hair disappeared her hair was very light brown, almost blonde. Each child has a different spirit about them. Mary was stronger in what she wanted and wants to do. If she wanted something on a piece of furniture all the spanking of hands in the world would never stop her from taking it. Monna after one spank on the hand would simply leave it alone. Monna wasn't as confident a person as Mary but how they loved each other from the beginning of their relationship and still do. It was fun dressing them alike. Mother Chat made dresses alike for them. Monna was a breach birth, but two or three weeks after her birth I was able and enjoyed working in the garden. Mother Chat had a relative named "Mona" and that helped us pick our her name. Jean was added. She was blessed and given a name in the LDS Church in Grays Lake, north of our home.
Monna had a way of winning the hearts of people. She was always a cut up and kind to others. She acted and said goofy things that made people laugh. Yes, she was the cut up of the Layland family. I remember the school there in Wayan so well. It had two rooms, boys and girls bath rooms and a big gym. Mrs. Magnusen, the teacher of the four lower grades praised Monna and said "Monna is a very happy child".
Monna, like all our children have, loved to go with whoever in the family went some place. One day Rex and Buster (Frank Stoor. whose mother died when he was born and Grandma Chat raised) started toward the truck to go somewhere Monna said that she wanted to go, could she please go? Her Dad answered go get in the truck'.' She had no idea where he was going when she left the house, but when in the truck she asked, "Where to go, Daddy?"'
Another time, Monna was in the big back room at Grandma Chat's doing her duty on the little potty. All of the rest of us were eating dinner in the next room in the kitchen. Soon a little voice came loud and clear from the back room; “Mother come and wipe me”. I called back, "Can't you wipe yourself?” “No, She replied,, "I'd get it on my whingah.” One time Monna obviously needed to go to the bathroom; I said to her, "Monna, go to the bathroom." She retorted "No, I don't have to go." So I asked, "Then why are you wiggling?” “I’m wiggyen to wait a minute."
In the winter, Monna wore a green coat and a cap with a fuzzy bunny like tail on the top; she was quite small but just high enough that when she rode in the pickup on my lap (with Mary Lee sitting between Rex and I) that darn furry top tickled my chin.
Monna played the piano, learned nursery rhymes, and sang songs by memory too. She still has rather crooked little fingers from playing the piano-when her finger bones hadn't fully developed.
April 1955 after Mother Chat died Rex and I were lambing our sheep in the Sheep shed one time we talked of Mother Chat. Rex became all choked up and had difficulty talking. He and his m other were very close. They planned all the farm work together and decisions were made only after matters were discussed by them together. I do not remember the year that her husband, Isaac Vias died nor her father Grandpa William Edison Dray. He had been a coal miner before coming to Wyoming and then Idaho.) He told Betty and I that if we wanted to not become pregnant again to sleep with both feet in one stocking .( That embarrassed me a great deal.)
Our son, Frank Riley; was born September 22 , 1956. Grandma Chat died the year before on April 5, 1955. My father John Riley Hayes Jr. died on September 7, 1956 a few days before Frank was born. Let's consider his time with us and how the children loved him; how he helped with work on the farm; and how he loved our children. Dad lived with us for what may have been a few years; both when we lived in the big house of Aunt Chat's (while she and Buster lived in Soda long enough for Buster to graduate from high school, returning to the farm for the summer months)and when we were in our humble home. . He lived with us off and on for short periods of time. How the little girls, Mary and Monna, loved him. He raised a beautiful garden for us. He learned the art from his parents. He enjoyed being with us; we were all the family he had who gave him loving attention. We did not give him nearly as much love, attention and care as we should have. Dad helped Rex build the third room onto our cabin and porch. He often did the milking And helped with all the work there was to do. I remember so well when Mary had the flu and was running a high temperature; it was winter time and the Vias Lane was blocked with snow; Dad harnessed the team so we could take Mary Lee to the truck out on the county road; he was so worried about her, or loved her so much probably both, that there were tears in his eyes. I believe that Rex’s Aunt Mattie Somsen died in June of 1956, as Clark Burriss, our beloved friend. Mattie suffered a long time, then died with cancer.
Clark had been out to the ranch to visit and stay overnight quite often; I had used his front room in Soda Springs for months, perhaps a few years, to give music lessons; it was on Saturdays and Mary and Monna went with me. After lessons Clark and I would take a ride in our auto, driving slowly and talking. We nearly always went out to Hooper and had a drink of mineral soda water. Our whole family loved Clark. He had just been the recipient of an old age fishing license, free of charge. He and Rex had a date to go fishing the day after he died. It was he who said of my mother "It wouldn't be fair to compare any other woman with Edith,, nor any man either, for that matter."
Dad left Wayan (where Oscar Vias, for one thought he was an outstanding worker and Oscar liked to have Dad working for him)and moved his little trailer to Sunset, Utah which is located near Hillfield Air Base. Dad worked there until a short while before he died.
One time the girls and I visited Dad when he was working in Ogden. He had a television set. We watched it with amazement and sheer enjoyment. Later, he gave us this set, we were the first family to have TV in Grays Lake. (The TV incidence was before Frank was born,)
Rather early in 1956, Dad’s friend wrote me that his health was quite bad. No, rather Dad wrote quite early that he had a blood problem; I didn't pay the attention to him and go to him then as I should have. But when I received word, in a letter, from one of Dad's closest friends that he was very bad off, I wasted no time getting down to Ogden. He was in the hospital there by the time I arrived in Utah. He had leukemia. The doctor told me that he could make it or he might die; but that if he made it he. would have no resistance to germs and disease. He also told me that he had bronchial pneumonia and a partial bowel obstruction. I sat by his bed for several days, going to Virginia Osmond's home to sleep at night. (Jim Osmond, Rex’s, cousin and son of Rex's Aunt Vera Sibbett married Virginia; they we re later divorced). I called Dad's brother, Uncle Jean (who lived in Georgetown, Idaho) and he, and Aunt Geneva Munk and Uncle Eldon (Dad's brother) came to see Dad. Oh! His poor mouth was so caked and dry; I remember giving him ice cubes. He had an apparatus attached to him that did not work right; I should have called the doctor and reported it. This Dr. was so very kind and interested. I slept for awhile one early night in an adjacent room; I was shocked to hear how the attendant was talking to and shouting at my very sick Dad. The staff all expressed how easy Dad was to care for, and how they liked him.
Dad slipped in and out of being delirious. I think that I was so concerned about him that I didn't feel greatly uncomfortable in my 8th month of pregnancy. The hospital was called: Dee Memorial Hospital and was located in Ogden's East side. The time .immediately before Dad died I sat by his bedside holding his left hand. When he took his one, deep last breath, there was a spiritual being enter the room; a peace and calm permeated my very soul. It must have been a special spirit sent down by the Lord to escort my Dad back to heaven. One thing for sure, he surely suffered a lot the last few years. I was so grateful for a Mr. Rich, who lived in the same trailer park there in Sunset. He was so good to Dad, I learned; had taken him into his trailer that was air conditioned, fed him; and most of all gave warmth and love being a true friend.
Half brother, Edgar, lived in Bountiful. He was the Utah State Meat Inspector; he came to the hospital and while there told me that I should have Dad's belongings and his money, that I had done more than he had. I called the Mathews mortuary in Montpelier, Idaho and they came after Dad, preparing him for burial in Montpelier. In Georgetown, at the home of Uncle Gene Hayes and his wife Dad was viewed by friends and relatives before his funeral in the little old L.D.S., white, church. Mother was there with us, very aware of my being very pregnant. (Frank was born 11 days later.) Many friends and relatives from Gray's Lake were to the viewing and the funeral. I appreciated them so much.
I remember Frank’s birth well. We had three rooms and a porch with no bathrooms, and I don't remember whether Rex had put the water in the house by then or not. Mary, possibly Monna too, were away for overnight. In the morning when I awoke I spurted blood on the bed. Rex called the Dr. and he told him to keep me laying down, not to get up for anything and to bring me right in to Soda Springs. Only a pregnant woman can understand what it was like riding 37 miles laying down and needing so desperately to go to the bathroom and urinate. Having been raised in a home without a father for over 10 years and having had no brothers to grow up with can you imagine my joy when the Dr. said, "It's a boy!" I shouted and shouted with joy!!! I didn't try to tone it down I was so delighted. No offense to my daughters please.
Mary and Monna came home and found the unmade bed with blood on it. They were extremely frightened and worried.
Rex had a son! What a pity that Mother Chat did not live to see it. She used to say, "I would like to live long enough to see two things: Rex to have a son and the second to see Buster married. She loved Rex's father so much Frank Layland, and wanted the Layland name to continue generation after generation. Now in 1997, our son Frank has three sons of his own.
I remember the love I felt for that little life and how I enjoyed him as the time passed along. We named him "Frank Riley" after his two grandfathers. Rex was not very fond of short pants for his son but I made him a summer suit with a jacket and short pants. I remember thinking "Why do girls clothes have to be so pretty and boys so plain". Determined that Frank's clothes were cute I saw to it that they were.
He was a very good baby and very active. All of us went to Boise for the holidays in December, Rex, myself, Mary, Monna and baby Frank. He was just 3 months old. He talked a lot to his daddy. Leafy Simpson, one of the elderly guests Mother cared for in the beautiful Spanish type home on 24th St.. North, was so impressed with Frank talking (not words, but baby sounds) to his daddy so intently, she thought it quite rare. I was so proud to have a son; I had no brother in the home I grew up in, nor a father most of the years; all our children, up to the time he was born, were girls, so Frank was very special. He-had lots of attention.
As Frank grew older Mother and I took him, or me to the Dr.'s office (Tigert Clinic) in Soda Springs one day. Frank moved about the room with much speed and agility; there was another little boy that appeared to be about the same age; mother commented on how much more alert and faster Frank moved than the other little boy did. She was as proud of him as I was. There is a picture of him at that time when I was bathing him in the front bathroom on the main floor in the beautiful mansion on North 24th street.
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| Frank’s First Haircut (CDH0351) |
Frank loved to dig in the garden and berry patch on the farm; he had a little red wagon that he hauled dirt in as he made roads and mounds of dirt in his dream world of play. He went with his Daddy after hay at a very early age, even in the winter time. When the weather was cold Rex put Frank in his coat and zipped him up with just his head sticking out and his back against Rex's chest. I remember well one day when Rex and Frank were going to go outside to do some work and easy going Rex was standing in the middle of the floor when Frank took a hold of his legs and pulled on them saying (one leg I believe) "Come on Dad. Let's go."
When Frank was a little older, 1960 on, we were in Soda Springs for the school year terms and on the ranch summers, until we sold it in 1968. Rex started working for Monsanto Chemical company 1960. The parts of the year's locations lapsed over some, and Frank went to school at Wayan. I will always remember the first day he ran from the little home in Wayan down the private lane and to the school bus. I watched him out the front (east) window. He ran fast and his little arms were just pumping like emphatic, enthused arms can pump.
There is a picture in color of Frank standing by the blue pickup parked in the quaking aspens with wild flowers in sight west of our home where they were fencing.
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| Frank & Cindy Stoor tasting his birthday cake (CDH0348) |
While Frank was a baby and a few years afterwards is when I served as Relief Society President in the Grays Lake Ward. How I grew and matured in my knowledge and love for the scriptures and presidents of the Mormon Church, when I served in that position. Being an officer, my feelings were that I should study all lessons very faithfully and be able to answer questions intelligently - literature, relationships, sewing, quilting, home management, and cooking. This was many years ago, and I have forgotten a lot. The visiting-teaching was my responsibility, and all the Church asked women to do it. I took it all very seriously, and applied myself diligently. The Lord blessed me and gave me messages to write down for delivery to the Sisters at the monthly meetings.
One time when going out the door with a cake or pie for someone in the valley whom I felt should have it, several of my family members, in woe-begone voices, said, "Are you taking that away from home, too?!" Another time, Rex said to me, "Gee! I never thought I would be married to the President!" It was 60 miles from the farthest home in the north to the homes in the south. We brought people into the Relief Society & Church.
I believed everything that was read by me and heard by me during those wonderful three-plus years. The relationships and love that existed between nearly all the sisters and me was so beautiful. Without any doubt, these were three of the most rewarding years of my life. Yes - I am one who loves to be involved, loves to serve, and when I am not doing the same, I am not as content, nor do I feel as fulfilled - particularly on the Spiritual level.
Another time that was fulfilling for me was when I was the accompanist for the Gray's Lake Ward Choir and accompanied them at the Stake Conference. How pleased I was when President Wilford Dredge complimented me on my skill as an accompanist. He was a gentle, loving man, so humble and wise. He drove a distance of over 30 miles to our home in Wayan one time to give needed counsel.
I do want to tell you the names of very special women, who served as my counselors at different times: Mary Sibbett and Ree Somsen were my first counselors. Mary later moved out of Wayan. Ree Somsen became ill with a chronic illness and asked to be relieved from her duties. Benda Burton and Ruth Stoor then served as my counselors. LaRue Coombs and Florence served as secretary at different times.
November 5, 1960 found us living in Soda Springs due to the 30 some miles from our home in Wayan and the Monsanto Plan (phosphate) near Soda Springs where Rex had accepted employment and the deep snow with questionable road conditions. We rented the Maughan home at the end of North Main on the west side of the street. Just over the fence was a hill covered with sagebrush so we sort of felt that we were still in the country. Directly behind the yard was the Bob Torgenson ranch. They were good neighbors, and their sons played with Frank.
These were changing times. I have included a poem by Rex that expresses his feelings about going to work at Monsanto and a letter that I wrote to Rex shortly after he started working there.
"Cowboy's Fate"
The old cowboy has put up his saddle,
Chaps and spurs are hung on a nail,
His horse is turned out in the pasture,
And no more will he ride the trail.
He's moved into town with his family
To be nearer his job so they say,
For he works when he ought to be sleeping,
And sleeps when he once worked each day.
There's one thing he now knows for certain,
As he works by the artificial lights,
For every day shift that passes,
There must be at least two midnights.
—Rex Layland
“A LETTER TO MY HUSBAND”
Why do I love you? There are so many reasons. Let me name a few. First of all is your steady dependable loyalty, your patience and your demonstrative, gentle affection.
You are a man tall in character whose honesty matches your broad shoulders; your good nature is a gem of priceless worth, your smile radiates warmth to all who know you.
As a girl I admired you for your integrity and manliness, and felt you were the kind of man I wanted for a father to my children.
Many men have I been acquainted with who could not measure up to you. I like the way I feel when we are talking, planning and working out something together in harmony.
And most of all I love you because you are my husband, you are the father and head of the house; because we know happiness as a family unit with many wonderful happy memories, with blessings and challenges in the present, with things to enjoy and build for the future. Could there possibly be anything which brings deeper happiness than family unity and love?
My prayer for you is that God will bless you and help you realize your full potentialities, that your family will each all be a blessing and help to you.
Something else that I love you for, of which the recompense is perhaps of less importance than other things; your willingness to work at something you don’t particularly like in order to provide well for your family. This demonstrates further your love for us. And the money it brings in makes us very comfortable in a worldly way. The money is of less value than your great love and unselfish sacrifice in the form of giving up outdoor work for work in an industrial plant.
The children and I all think you are absolutely “Tops”. We love you!
Your arms encircle us and we accept thankfully the warmth, love and protection they give us.
With love from your wife,
January 15, 1962
I remember carrying 4 year old Frank outside behind the house (west) when he would say, "Let's go sing to the moon." In his pajamas he rode piggy back on his Mamas back and hung there with arms around my neck, as we sang:
"I see the moon and the moon sees me, the moon sees somebody I'd like to see. God bless the moon and God bless me, and God bless the somebody I'd like to see. If you get to heaven before I'm there, please write my name on the golden stair, Write it clear and plain to see so the angels can tell how much you mean to me."
The sisters Mary and Monna often sang it with us. It was a little night time song that was sung many times by one or more of the children and their friends when staying at our home overnight.
I don't remember just when making gingerbread boys became a tradition in our family; but Frank was involved and a picture is available of him with flour on his nose and front as he was taking some of the little men out of the baking dish while we were living in the pink house by the creek on the east side of Earth Main Street. We were there for two school seasons, 1961-2 and 62- 3.
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| Meletha Ann Layland 1961 (CDH0161) |
“Straight down from heaven there came one day a perfect angel in every way;
Her eyes were shining right from the start. She surely won her Mommy’s heart.
Communicating with Baby is the mostest fun.
Her eyes how they sparkle, my little dimpled one.
“Tis then that I wonder “Could heaven sweeter be?”
Communicating with baby is fun for me.”
Later when we were living back on the farm, Ann was about 8 years old, the two of us made up a song, melody and words, “Today the Sun is Shining”. Ann was still very small when she started holding her breath often and turned purple. People told me that she would never die from holding her breath but I wasn’t sure and it always frightened me. However, I learned that throwing some cold water in her face brought her out of it. Ann did not like to be held, she tolerated it very briefly and then made it known that she wanted down or to be released from our attempts to hold her close. Rex and I both had matured greatly in our parental understanding and treatment of our children.
There are some adorable pictures of Ann when we lived at the pink house by the creek: One is on a little chair out in front of the house; another where she fell asleep on her potty chair with her bottle in her mouth; another when she climbed out of the potty chair to the front and under the big chair and was peering out. Another picture of Ann is of her sitting in the kitchen sink having her bath with me holding my hands and wet wash rag above her head squeezing water and letting it drip on her head.
While she was still a tiny little girl but walking, she had a problem that we did not know the cause of. When she needed to urinate, she would bend way down, hold her lower front of her body and cry or scream. After Sue was born and was a few years old we took Ann to a urologist in Salt Lake City, Utah. He found that her bladder was shaped like an hour glass. He put her to sleep and stretched the bladder so it was normal in shape. He also checked Sue and found that she had a similar shaped bladder and stretched hers as well.
The older girls were so loving and attentive to Ann. They are not so patient with Frank. Could it be that they thought he was a nuisance?
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| Some of my accordion students with Myron Floren at the State Festival (CDH0001) |
In typing this I just remembered that each child had a certain habit when they were frustrated or could not have something they wanted. Mary and Sue stomped their feet, Monna twisted her whole body, Frank jumped up and down, and Ann held her breath.
1960 through 1963 was enough time elapsing that I built up quite a clientele of piano and accordion students. My students and I attended the Idaho State Accordion Festival annually in Boise. My children and I, and sometimes others, stayed with Mother and her guests. Also, my sister, Margie, and her two sons, Donald Spears, and Paige Wakley lived in Boise. Myron Floren, of the Lawrence Welk TV show (accordionist) was our judge for several years. It was a pleasure sitting with Myron, other teachers and the State Festival Board, and learning from each other, sharing the plans and outlines which the festival was to follow. Mary, Monna, and Frank participated and I directed some of my groups. Frank always won a trophy, as did each person that played, (except group numbers received only one) and his Original solo, “My Peace”, that I composed and Wesley Harris arranged, with an amplifier won a superior trophy for him. Mary’s difficult solo in the senior advanced division won the highest score of all superiors in her division; Monna won a superior for one solo.
February 20, 1963 we were still living in the pink house by the creek on North Main Street. If memory serves me correctly my pains began in the afternoon. Word was sent to Rex who was at the Monsanto Plant that I would need to go to the hospital. Little Melinda Sue (Lindy) was born weighing 8 pounds and two ounces. Very soon after being part of the family she showed a high degree of liking to be held, loved, hugged etc. She soon hugged back and gave attention as well as liking to receive it. It was a time of uncertainty, anxiety, impatience with family members, and awareness of feeling being unequal to everything at hand. Sheer joy each time the new born baby is held in your arms. I had a lot of help. Mary gave all my music lessons and did not charge me for it. Peggy Tingey, Margaret Stoor, Barbara Sibbett, Carol Skinner, and Rex and Frank. Frank Grinned from ear to ear as he ran out the front door. Ann couldn’t stay away from “Baby Sisser”. It was almost too much for her to be on top of me and the baby, too. But she was there with her big brown eyes shining and her two year old delight showing itself in many ways. Frank was so cute with Lindy. He loved to hold his little sister.
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| Meletha Ann about 1962 (CDH0162) |
Sue looked up to, admired and loved her sister just 2 years older than she. As the girls grew there was a marked difference in their personalities. Sue was very sensitive and is much the same today at age 34. Ann, being older, naturally mistreated her often. (Frank did Ann. One day he hurt her physically very badly. I spanked him for it. So what happened next? Ann was mad at me. It is so funny how the younger child adores the older one. Ann used to watch out the window for Frank to come home from school.) Ann would needle Sue in a way that usually no one was aware of but Sue and Ann. Ann wanted to fight. Sue did not. Ann would hurt Sue’s feelings so bad, but rather than fight, Sue would yell at her. Often times people would think that Sue was being ornery when it was really Ann’s fault.
It was fun dressing the two little girls alike. Because Ann was small at birth their physical size was about the same and folks often asked “Are they twins?”.
The school year of 1964 and 5 found us in Wayan for the first part. The year before we had moved a nice big home from the Dick Torgensen farm near Soda Springs out to our farm; Rex commuted to work and during one snow storm he was caught between work and home when the snow plows that were unable to get through to Wayan or Soda Springs. He spent the night on the road in the snow. At home I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. So in the fall, when the snow roads started to become a problem for commuters again we decided to move nearer to his work at Monsanto Chemical Company. There seemed to be no homes available to rent in Soda Springs, but there were in Grace. Grace was just 12 miles from Soda Springs. We moved to Grace. There was another purpose accomplished by the move: the small minds of some of the church officers in Wayan made a gossip issue out of me and my life; I was discussed in their counsel meeting and it was reported to me by two or more people who were in attendance. Also, they were in the process of building a new chapel; I tried to get Rex to help and to let me use the car (we had just one) to drive to the church and help; no luck. Also, Ann was about 4 and had something wrong with her; she screamed with pain whenever she needed to and did urinate. Soon she had surgery in Salt Lake when the Dr. stretched her bladder (it was shaped like an hour glass) and cut away some of the tissue. Sue had the same thing done. All this was upsetting to me and I lost weight down to less than 100 pounds from 116 or more. I went to Dr. Comstock, internal specialist in Pocatello. He examined me and declared loud and strong: “Move! Nothing is worth ruining your health over.” Rex, the Dr. and I were not in harmony; I with the Dr. and Rex going his own way thinking of what he wanted and felt he had to do. In 1966 he moved us back to Wayan, much against my pleadings, coaxing, and begging, ignoring me and my needs. The children were delighted to be back on the farm. I couldn’t see myself sitting in a house with no furniture and no income to pay the rent, so I went back to Wayan, also. Earlier Rex’s mother said: “One plays Rex’s way or plays alone; and Rex is a very selfish individual.”
I traveled to Soda Springs, and Bancroft once a week where the “Tosoiba Music Studio” built up a fine reputation. I hired a dance and guitar teacher, and both Monna and Mary Lee did some beginning piano and accordion teaching. I sponsored Myron Floren in two concerts; one in Grace and one in Pocatello. His agent had told me to plan on at least 2 thousand people attending each concert; I advertised extensively; the tickets did not even begin to pay for the advertising. All Myron would take was money enough for his plane fare and room rent at the Bannock Hotel in Pocatello. Attendance at the concerts were small but those in attendance praised the quality of the show extremely high.
While Grace Was Home
There is a cute picture of Frank and Jeanie Simmons (neighbors in Grace) playing cards in the bathtub one day while we were busy in all rooms giving lessons. Also, pictures of the Cub Scout Den members, myself, a den mother, and partner, Carol Egbert. We could depend on at least one fist fight each meeting; we traveled to many interesting places and had lots of fun projects, meetings, etc. Frank was in the Den, and also Gene Munk, his pal. Clifford Carver was another of his pals who was in the Den. Two of the most interesting evens were: our snow and sleigh riding activity up Burton Canyon; Chris Egbert climbed up a steep hill which had a heavy crust on it; he sunk in the snow up to his armpits and could not get out. The older boys climbed up with a shovel and shoveled him out. I will never forget how he couldn’t stop his teeth from chattering when he finally got back down to the car. Another event one summer was one which happened after we had moved back to the farm (37 miles from Monsanto and Soda Springs.) The boys all came out from Grace to climb the hills, ride the horse, food and sleep overnight. Chris and his partner must not have followed my directions; they became lost on the mountain; it started to rain; and his folks were due any time at the farm from Grace. We searched; they were found up in the hills west of the farm. By the time we all returned to the farm house we were all soaking wet; the boys only brought their sleeping bags and night clothes; they did no bring a change of slacks, underwear and shirts. So they all dawned their sleeping wear; it was still daylight; and we placed the numerous sleeping bags in our beautiful large front room. What fun we had? There are pictures available. We later decorated a flat bed trailer, Rex pulled it with his auto; the accordion students, part of them, sat on it on chairs and played during one of the parades.
Dr. Comstock also had said: “Go to a psychiatrist”. We did. Rex would not follow Dr. Moench’s advice, “Solve your problems”’ I started trying to do what I could to solve them alone. His attitude seemed to be “I am not going to do anything about this, and I’ll fight you if you try to do anything about it”, one problem after another.
Ann loved picking wild flowers out behind the homes on our farm, and quite near the huckleberry patches. What an adorable child she was; and how sweet Sue was. Frank was serious about his primary, taking the lessons to heart and feeling disgusted with some of the children in his class who would not listen and do what the teachers told them to. Sue voiced the same feeling later in her classes.
While Frank, Ann and Sue were young children, we had a swiveling rocking chair that all four of us would sit in together in the evenings as we read stories before bedtime. Reading stories and singing songs to the moon were two of our favorite things to do at night.
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| Mary Lee and Dale on their wedding day (CDH0189) |
The kids all adored Dale. They used to spend a great deal of time with them in their home. Mary and Dale played games with hem, took them all kinds of places for fun, went fishing, fed them many meals. All three of them loved the Hamps and Mary and Dale loved them. It was the three kids 2nd home but I think they may have preferred being with Hamps more than being at home. Looking back on it now I can see that Mary and Dale were able to provide some stability into their lives when Rex and I were having conflict. Because they were married when Frank, Ann and Sue were so young, Dale has always been more of a brother than a brother in law.
From Mother’s journal for 1965:
“The Myron Floren concerts are over. We are now relaxing in the fragrance of its accomplishments. The pleasure of enjoying the profound showmanship of this wonderful personality and his masterful performance on the accordion. Also, the orkettes Colleen had perform with him, at both the Grace and Pocatello concerts, did well and were very attractive in their lovely costumes. Colleen looked very lovely in her white dress, (white corsage from her pupils) and moved in a gracious manner in her duties of the occasion. Much, much could be said of these 2 concerts and the responsibility ,the time, the planning and sweat that went into them.
Yes, and no, it was a success. Financially, the attendance fell far below expectations. Colleen and I counted the money after the 2nd concert at Pocatello at the Bannock Hotel in the room we shared. It was heart breaking: there would be a debt to pay. Colleen wept and I yearned.
Colleen displayed her great spirit, dried her eyes and began to gather up the broken ends, and to organize and arrange much work out in detail what would have to be done to meet the advertising expenses.
Clayton and Marie came to the concert in Grace. It was so nice to see them again. Lillis was there too. Leon let Colleen drive his lovely car to Idaho Falls where she and Lillis met Mr. Floren”
Another excerpt from Mother’s Diary, dated December 1965.
“Although it was Sunday it was the only chance we had for Colleen to give me a permanent. Then there was a lucious dinner to prepare and enjoy, which we all did. The dishes were left that we might enjoy each other as long as we could. Colleen grouped the children on the davenport where they played the accordion, guitar, sang songs for Christmas. They took turns on the instruments, and all of it had been rehearsed and prepared....I sat and thought of Colleen and listened and through my mind came the assurance of the toil that efforts, the goal, the love, the perseverance, the trial of disadvantages, the drawbacks, and much, much more she had given. I could have wept...but there was only mist to wipe from my eyes; but I knew that there are only a few daughters who would go to so much thought and labor to bring to her mother such a Christmas gesture.”
In May of 1966 Monna graduated from Grace High School. President Davis of the Idaho State University was the speaker. At the beginning of his talk he referred to little Ann & Sue who were dressed alike in red plaid dresses. He said “I wonder if these two little girls in plaid dresses on the front row have someone up here on the stand who is graduating tonight?”. All the class turned around and looked at Monna on the back row. She seemed to be embarrassed. Not because she did not lover her little sisters but because so much attention was unexpectedly focused on her.
Shortly after that we packed up everything to move back to the farm. I didn’t want to move back because Grace held more of what I needed at the time. Part of the problem was probably due to the fact that I had not learned how to express myself properly and adequately to the right person at the right time. I hope that all my children will learn to “believe in yourself and tell why you are feeling and saying what you are. Don’t hesitate to be assertive about important matters even though you may be criticized for it. If you fail to tell others what the reasons are that you are angry or upset, they are apt to misjudge you.”
An instance occurred out to Grays Lake that illustrates that point. The Ward had taken care of the hay with the agreement that they would get half of the profits. That fall it had already snowed, our half of the hay still lay in the field. A letter came to Rex and I from the bank that they had to have the payment which was 2 years past due on a loan. Rex would not even ask for a day off to take care of the hay. My older children would not help with sorting the good hay from the spoiled hay. It was Frank’s birthday. A hay buyer from Idaho Falls that I contacted said he would buy it if the good was sorted. He loaned me a baled hay tester and Paige and I tested each bale of the approximate 2 tons of hay. There was a lot of name calling over the instance and one individual called me sick. The hay finally sold due to pressure, I think, from the Stake. This was the beginning of some very dysfunctional years for our family.
By 1967 Dr. Hart at the Salt Lake Clinic in Salt Lake City had diagnosed Rex’s health irritant as Emphysema; the Dr. told Rex to get out of Monsanto and find work where the air was pure. Rex did not. I knew that financial aid was available for me to finish my degree at ISU in Pocatello. I rented a house across the street from the college; prepared the three little children, Ann, Sue and Frank (Mary was married and Monna was living in Salt Lake studying at the LDS Business College) and we moved to Pocatello. The church leaders and Rex pressured me saying that I was breaking up the family and should be at home. I knew that a degree in music (with the work opportunities in placement guaranteed) would give us income, activities for the children in town, Rex could get out of Monsanto and live longer, build up a cattle operation (which he said was all he ever wanted ) and live on the ranch in the summer. (We all loved the ranch; it makes a great summer home). Again my “Good judgment” was ignored by people I deemed important to me. All the children did well in Pocatello. I withdrew from ISU returning to the farm and very sick at heart.
Mother had moved to Salt Lake by this time; but kept caring for the elderly and ill in the home she and Aunt Laverne bought and shared together. Pictures are available of the family visiting mother.
In 1968 I read in a well known magazine of couples in marital trouble having legal separation and counseling whose marriage was strengthened, problems solved, and happy families resulting. I persuaded Rex to go with me to Emmett Brown of Salt Lake, intending to arrange this same type of help trial. Neither Rex nor Emmet Brown would go along with it. We settled for a marital contract, a lengthy one that we all planned, agreed upon, and signed. It included selling the farm immediately and moving to Grace or Preston, Idaho. This was June. By late August, Rex had refused to do anything about these agreements in the contract. I hired the Mayflower moving Van and moved to Preston (furniture, food, and all), Idaho one day when Rex was away for the day. The children were enrolled in school and in class the first day of school that fall. Part of the contract included my getting some intellectual challenge” and that we counsel with someone whenever there was conflict. I arranged to ride in a car pool and took several classes at Utah State University, Logan, Utah: piano, voice, Doctrine and Covenants, and Successful Living and Management”. All my graded classes were A’s and B’s. I loved them all.
Margie’s health continued to grow worse; she had emphysema, chronic bronchitis, and bronchectisis (sp?), and a heart condition. She died in Boise in September, shortly after we moved to Preston. her youngest son Paige, came to make his home with us; in the spring he joined the army, serving for 6 years. He considered Rex and I his parents then, and does to this day.
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| Monna Jean and Jim Lienemann’s wedding picture (CDH0364) |
At Christmas time Monna did most of the housework and cooking; I sewed. See the picture in color of all of us in red and white night clothes and a cap to match with a tassel.
Sept. 1968 My sister Margie was very ill in Boise, Idaho. Mother had moved to Salt Lake City. Margie was in a Nursing Home for a time. Mother went to be with her and I soon followed. Margie was in the hospital by then. One hour she was very low. I had told her that she was going to get better and we were going, she and I, to take a trip by plane. I went over to sit in the corner while two nurses did something for her.. I knew when they put the oxygen mask on her before they turned on the power that it was a mistake. She died immediately. Oh! How often I have thought about her and our relationship as sisters. She was so loving. “Now” I thought, “her boys Don and Paige have not an attentive, loving parent on this earth.” It was just we two siblings who were raised in our home. How I’ve missed her and longed for her to be alive so we could share many things together. Finally by the present 1997 I’ve learned that great comfort is mine when I look into her face (a large picture) and tell her “Good morning!” and 'Good night! I love you’ every day. As I do with my Mother’s picture, Daddy's picture, Grandma and Grandpa Tippets and Aunt LaVerne’s pictures every day.
After Margie’s death, Paige came to live with us in Preston. He won the hearts of our Bishop and his wife and was very well behaved. As a typical High School senior he did not like to do something I asked him to do. I think it was help wash down the porch.) He looked to Rex as a father figure never having known his blood father. Paige left our home and I think went right into the US Army. He served uncle Sam as a helicopter mechanic in the Vietnam War.
We sold the farm to Jack Nuffer in 1969: My feelings were very upset; I was sure that several problems could have been solved, Rex live longer, and my get my degree (as the contract promised) if only........ After I felt it was necessary (but against my grain) to move back into the Idaho Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter Day Saints.
I looked at houses with Rex and the family. We chose and bought the three bedroom 2 bath brick home with afull basement, attached garage, with a large lawn and in a lovely neighborhood, and we moved into it. I have always loved the house; and felt extreme frustration due to the knowledge that Dr. Comstock was right; except it seemed that being with the children might be more important than my health; and I am not as comfortable living in this stake as I deserve to be. Many men commuted to Monsanto from Preston; I will always feel that Rex should have continued to do so too, as long as he felt he had to work at Monsanto. Quite a few of us tried to get him to quit Monsanto and Work elsewhere. Twelve years later he would be forced to take medical retirement with a serious case of emphysema and a heart condition that he says could kill him at anytime.
Our first grandson, Jason Dale Hamp was born October 1, 1969; what a handsome boy he is. Mary and Dale waited six years for the birth of their first baby. (They met in 1963 when Dale was working for his Dad and they came out to put in the sewer lines to the house we moved out to the ranch.) They were married a short time later. And now they have been together for 34 years. Before Jason was bron Mary had chosen a Dr. in Montpelier. She went to the hospital there and I soon followed them. When I arrived Dale was pacing up and down the floor frantically. Mary was in labor. The phone rang immeditaely after a nurse told Dale that the baby was born but couldn’t tell him what it was. Dale’s Mother, Erlene Hamp, demanded to know what the baby was - a boy or girl. She was angry with Dale for not telling her. Soon we saw Mary coming up the hall on a bed on wheels pushed by the nurse. Dale said that he ran as fast as he could but I was half the length of the hall ahead of him. “I’ve got a boy for you Dale” she said. Tears come to my eyes just remembering that blessed event. Mary had had so much female trouble. Once we thought we were going to lose her.
Jason liked to make ginger bread boys with me. One time when we were making them, he looked up at me and said so seriously, “Grandma, I love you more than anyone else in the whole world.” I am sure that he didn’t really mean it but he surely was a very special little boy.
Monna joined Jim before too long. That is an interesting story. They were stationed at Lakenheath Air Force Base 80 miles from London when their first baby was expected. Jim and Rex shared the expense of a round trip flight for me to be on hand when the baby was born. I was impressed with the green countryside of England; the different architecture of the buildings (many of them connected together and many with thatched roofs), as we rode from the airport to their little trailer at the base. Airplanes constantly zoomed over our heads; Monna and Jim were happy go lucky pair whose relationship drew people to them and their home. Jim read the Book of Mormon twice, had taken the missionary lessons and joined the church. He was in the Sunday School Presidency and served as assistant ward clerk as well. Monna was the ward organist and I substituted for her while I was in England. They had a little English Austin auto; Jim and Monna rode in the front, and their little black Labrador pup, Angel, and I rode in the back seat. We buzzed all around East Anglia District. Some of the interesting tourist attractions that I took in were: the English Countryside, castles, cathedrals, Norfolk, Felix Stowe (a recreational center and city), the North Sea, sights in London (the Thames river, Shakespeare Theatre on the Thames), bridges on the Thames, the Queen’s Palace, Trafalgar Square, Surrey, the LDS Temple and the Temple manor where the temple presidency and their wives and temple workers lived. Gardens and flowers galore; there is very little earth space that is not utilized in England. We saw the ruins of the once grand structure where the Magna Carta was signed centuries before. I loved visiting the English people, listening to their delightful accent and telling about their lives.
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| Jim and Sean (CDH0335) |
One night about bedtime Jim put on Monna’s nightgown. What a clown! Monna had a small flower plant in the trailer that was their home. It was leaning over and Monna asked if Jim would go outside and find something she could prop it up with. A few minutes later in came Jim witha pole like a power pole.
After returning home to Soda Springs, I found a welcoming family, and a beautiful large flower garden in back of our light tan brick home in Soda. Rex and the children had planted them and they were blooming gloriously. It was a happy reunion, and June 1970.
Major surgery was my lot early in the summer of 1970; I had a hysterectomy and repair work from childbirth problems. The Dr. told me that I would feel much better after the surgery: I was having menopause emotional upsets. I was so miserable right after surgery that I was provoked with the Dr. and thought him to be “money seeking” and not really interested in how I felt. I read a lot: was more inactive fore quite awhile during recuperation: It was then that I started gaining weight and became slightly obese: this was a new experience for me.
I wanted to learn more about the bible and knew that the Jehovah Witness people were very knowledgeable so I invited them into my home and studied with them. The Jehovah Witnesses believe that when we die our bodies lie in the grave and the spirit is dead until the resurrection. They also do not believe that polygamy was ever advocated by God. I do not remember what other differences there were: I thanked them for my increased knowledge, our friendship and their interest; and explained that I am a member of the church for which I have a strong testimony. These people were among my favorite acquaintances in Soda Springs. I visited their church at Easter time; they do not celebrate Christ’s birth; but his death as our savior. Howard and Rhea (I have forgotten their last name today) were heads of the church in Soda. Nancy, their daughter-in-law came with Rhea often.
Rex continued to work at Monsanto. His emphysema grew some worse and he often did not feel well; he never spent his pay check on liquor, guns, or other things that many men did. He was always loving and warm (except when he felt pushed). The children grew like weeds. Ann, Frank and Sue were still at home.
Frank had a special chum, Gene Munk; his mother had died and his Dad had an alcohol problem. We wanted to adopt Gene but his father was not willing. The two boys had lots of fun together.
Back to college; commuting with Gwen Budge and Lois Davis. I registered with a full time load, majoring in Music Education. When I started it was due to an order from the Dr. to help me with some depression I was feeling; it was difficult to climb the stairs between classes; I had developed hypoglycemia and lacked energy and drive. by giving myself vitamin shots; eating peanuts every two hours, being involved in interesting studies and activities that I loved the hypoglycemia was overcome and my love for the university involvement grew. The family was fair in helping with the work; we hired Nancy Kunz, about 15, who had cooking experience to begin our evening meal each day that I was away. She was disgusted with the girls and Frank for not helping more in the home. They were typical children; Frank was 14; Ann 10 and Sue 8.
Wesley Harris was my advisor, the Music Education Classes teacher and concert choir director. I loved that teacher; he was so human in his attitude and treatment of others and so humorous as well. Cecil Simmons was very thorough and an excellent Music Theory teacher; Josephine (professor) Berryman was a great piano teacher; we often visited during my lesson and I wondered why she wanted to talk with me so much; I think she was lonely and found me, being a more mature person than most of her students, easy to talk with. Miss Dupin, a short Italian lady, was always late for voice lessons; but she was a good teacher. Mr. Otinger used language that shocked me in Social Problems class; but he made us laugh a lot which was very good for sober minded me; he had the ability to draw out from class members their opposite feelings and opinions about each of the matters of current status that we studied. They included the Transient Workers, the Indian Reservations and poverty, drugs (especially marijuana), and modern sex trends. “The Herod Experiment” was a book that shocked me further, but the idea of genuine love came across. I could go on and on; but time and space does not allow it. I raised my grade point average over what it was in High School.
Fall 1972 the girls, Ann & Sue, and I took an apartment over the landlord’s garage on East Wyeth Street in Pocatello for my second year at Idaho State University. We spent weekends often in Soda Springs; and Rex and Frank came often to Pocatello. Monna, Jim and their children came to visit; as did Mary, Dale and Jason. Rex helped some with expenses, but most of our living expenses and school expenses for me was taken care of by means of the National Defense Loan that I had and the Student Federally Insured Loan from the bank. I also taught voice, piano, and accordion to supplement our income. Directed Broadway Kids Style for Community Education and we did “Mary Poppins”. It was a glorious year for the girls and I; we were never closer nor more highly motivated. They took part in Mary Poppins; Sue was in the Green Acres String Orchestra and learning piano from me; Ann was doing exceptionally well as my piano student and said that when she grew up she was going to get her degree in piano and become a beauty operator. The girls tried out for and was given a part in the Drama Department of I.S.U. play, “Follow The Yellow Brick Road.” They also, along with the Roosevelt Broadway Kids Style Class, sang with the I.S.U. Concert Choir at rehearsal one day; The song was practiced ahead of time: “Above The Mountain”, which is a lovely Christmas lullaby about Mary and baby Jesus. I love that song today still. I taught the girls to share in the household chores; they could clean the bathroom as well as a grown woman; they were respectful and obedient to me; and very loving. Our neighbors were the Redds, John and Sherrill and their children; their girls and ours played together; also, the bishop’s children (Winward’s) and the Carpentars. We had time for candy pulls, Christmas Caroling, etc. We ate with the Redd’s, and they with us. Sherrill and I were classmates at I.S.U. as well as friends; She had a well matured and trained soprano voice; was an excellent pianist and piano teacher, and also played the violin. I respected and loved her dearly.
As president of I.S.U. Dialogue it was my privilege to interview interesting persons from I.S.U. on TV video tape; then watch the TV later. My interest in Henry David Thoreau and his love of the culture and literature of India was the motivating factor in my seeking out and interviewing a Business Professor from India. It was interesting to learn that in India anyone seeking a religious quest is accepted by his people, or at least his religion. Another, rather two other, interesting persons were Dr. and Mrs. McCann; they were from England. In church one day, earlier, the Stake mission leader asked the members to invite non-members into our home to share Family Hove Evening. At the library one day I spoke to a refined looking gentleman who was from England. I invited him to bring his wife and share our Family Hove Evening. They accepted our invitation and they came. I do not remember what the girls and I served for refreshments, but I do remember the game we played as part of our evening. We took turns sitting in the middle of the circle and the others told what they thought we would be doing in the future. All I remember is Mrs. McCann telling Sue and I that we would be working with people. Perhaps Ann and Sue’s letter will hold more enlightenment about this special couple and what was said and done that night. Dr. McCann was (is) a scientist from the Lake District in North England where their 300 year old home is located and the laboratory that he works with; He was at I.S.U. on a fellowship, teaching in the Biology Department, I referred to himself as a naturalist. Mrs. McCann was also interviewed; she is a member (or was before coming to Pocatello in 1971 or 1972) of 32 committees; she was the girl scout leader in the group that Queen Elizabeth was in when she was a girl. She gave me a lovely little, English made gift which contained needles and a threader. It is among my keepsakes and has a note in it telling what kind of handwork it is.
I forgot to mention that during my first year at I.S.U. I taught General Music to one of the 4th grade classes (Mr. Blackwell’s I believe) as part of a music education class under the direction of Wesley Harris. Mr. Harris was my confidant; we often talked in his office and he gave his interested wise counsel and help to me.
In the spring of 1972 Rex was privileged to go with me and the ISU Concert Choir on their annual tour. It was a gloriously happy time; we sang at many schools between Weiser, Idaho and Pocatello. It is a time that both Rex and I cherish; he never seemed to tire of listening to us sing. When hearing the recordings of our singing, I believe that we sounded as good as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
At examination time and proficiency performances recitals, etc., I was under extreme pressure and my stomach bothered me some. Dr. Jentes was the kind Dr. at the Health Center who gave me medication and good counsel. He was acquainted with me since 1967.
Summer of 1972. Still in school at I.S.U. and still at home on East Wyeth, the girls and I enjoyed Mother, Edith Hayes, staying with us for two months. We spent many happy hours reading and discussing good books including a bit of the classics; also, “The Seven Laws for Success” and “The Missing Dimensions of Sex” by Howard Armstrong. We had trees hovering over the little porch where we sat together. Scriptures were among our favorites. Prayer and Fasting was part of life for me.
Studying Beethoven, and attempting to learn his “Pathetique” Sonata for the piano, I developed a deep respect and love for this master musician; his having gone deaf, almost losing his mind, then overcoming it and writing the great 9th Symphony was almost unbelievable. It was the first great musician’s known attempt to include choir with the symphony. The story of this symphony and its message is so beautiful. It was his life: “Struggle and overcoming”. I wrote a lengthy write-up about his life and was so sorry when it was lost. I felt it was one of my favorite works done at the U there.
Fall of 1972 Things were deteriorating for Rex and I. I filed for divorce and the girls and I moved to Provo where I continued my training in Music Education. There are twelve things that I learned from those dysfunctional years in our family. 1. Beware and change if you are a perfectionist. 2. Keep your word. 3. Don’t criticize your mate. 4. Do not lie, not even little white lies. 4. If you are caught up in a conflict don’t play dirty. Edify not destroy the enemy. 5. Don’t be vengeful. 6. Don’t be selfish. 7. When put down and out don’t rely on people but rather rely on the Lord. 8. Memorize scriptures and go over them daily, and pray often. 9. If you can’t, don’t care what people say about you. 10. The “nice” folks are not necessarily the one who will help you when your need is the greatest. 11. Express your feelings. 12. If a family member is considered “off base” stick by him or her, listen, encourage and help them. Defend them.
Letters from our neighbor, the principal and teacher speak of how well we were doing there. Rex and Frank came to see us. It was a special day one day; I remember we all sat on the grassy slope of the botanical garden area south of the BYU (Brigham Young University) campus.
Our 16 year old son, Frank, was on the Soda Springs High School wrestling team; he did very well; trained carefully and endured some defeats along with his wins. The coach praised him, his attitude and his progress and improvement. He really loved the coach, I believe and think his name was Morgan. Coach Robinson had a son Frank’s age, who also wrestled and was one of Frank’s friends. We were very proud of our son; he lived according to high ethical standards, was a fine Christian, and of great integrity. He was admired and appreciated by his schoolmates and his teachers at school, seminary, and in the church. One of his home teaching partners was Earl Gunnell a successful business man and farmer. He really liked Frank. (Earl and wife, Charlotte, attended Frank and Lesa’s wedding reception later in Thatcher 1980) My Dad assisted Earl in getting started in the buying and selling of grain when Dad had the City Transfer and Storage business on Main Street near the railroad tracks when I was small.
Rex served as Elder’s Quorum secretary and was paying tithing to the bishop faithfully. He was very dependable with his work as a mechanic at Monsanto Chemical Company. He had a perfect “Never Late for Work” record; and was well liked by his fellow workers and his foremen. The Monsanto Annual Picnic was always a great event that the entire family looked forward to and enjoyed. There were all kinds of rides; for example, the Ferris wheel and the merry go round; and food of all kinds to eat. All this was free for employees and their families. Our grandchildren always loved going to the Monsanto Picnic. There were races, games, and booths for throwing darts and other types of entertainment; plus a rope pulling contest. It was a gala event. Rex introduced me to many folks. The men at Monsanto had nicknamed Rex “Rowdy”. Rex is quiet, unassuming, gentle and friendly type person; and excellent conversationalist who speaks with convincing manners. He was very well liked; I thought even popular. I forgot to mention the prizes that were given away at the picnic. The children loved these of course.
During the summer Rex, Ann, Sue and I drove to Great Falls, Montana where Monna, Jim and their two boys Sean and Jeff were living at Malmstrom Air Force Base. The Lienemanns and us took a trip to Glacier National Park in Northern Montana and on into Waterton Park in Canada. The two parks join and what beautiful mountainous country it is with the lakes and wildlife. It was a wonderful time. Little Sean was only two and I remember so well when we were driving through underground tunnels Sean said “Honk E Horn, Ganpa, honk e horn.” It echoed in the tunnel and Sean liked that. Jeff was just a baby. We saw deer and mountain goats in the parks.
While on this trip we visited the Hutterite (sp?) colony at Chateau (sp?), Montana. We were so impressed with their healthy clean faces and bright eyes. They raised grain, livestock, and large vegetable gardens. Everyone worked and shared the labors. There was a private school (the old fashioned kind); a kitchen and dining hall where meals were prepared and everyone ate together; also a laundry where families took turns washing. Their homes (we were permitted to visit one) were simple with just a bedroom with homemade furniture and spotless and shining with what looked like fresh paint. They had no radios or television; but they sang in the evenings. Our guide told us that they never had problems with teenage marriages, drugs, and very seldom divorces!!
Mother and Aunt Laverne sold their homes in Boise, Idaho and purchased one on Logan Avenue, Salt Lake City, Utah, as co-owners. We went to visit them as often as we could. They served delicious meals to us and the love, music, and visiting we shared was wonderful. There are recorded tapes of our visits, singing, memorized scriptures and poetry. These two ladies in their seventies took care of elderly, sick folks in their home for a time; then went into other homes caring for people. What beautiful Christian women they were.
The girls and I did not stay in Provo and complete the school year that was begun there in 1972 because: The summer of 1973 they were in 4H; I was their leader and they completed their projects and entered them in the fair. There is a colored picture of their clothes that they sewed. Ann won a blue ribbon for her cherry pie at the Caribou County Fair. I don’t remember what Sue took in the line of foods. The family enjoyed many close hours together. The girls continued making progress on the piano and we did a special musical program at the nursing home. Frank worked summers for Merlin and Earline Smith in Thatcher. The had a diversified farm and dairy herd. Frank did everything there was to do in the line of work for them.
With Rex’s approval Sue and I moved to Provo in the fall, thinking I would complete my degree in music education. we lived with the Melburn Ford family; I did light housekeeping and cooked two meals a day for them. In return Sue and I had board and room and they furnished a little gray Volkswagen and gas for me to drive to school at Brigham Young University. Sue attended Green Acres School. Ann was at home with her Dad. Frank lived with Smith’s and graduated from Grace High School at the end of the school year in May 1974. Sue was voted the 2nd most popular girl in her class; played her violin in the elementary school string orchestra; and was picked by judges for the part of “Bert” in the Mary Poppins musical I directed. I taught Broadway Kids Style for the Special Courses and Conferences Department and was paid $8.33 an hour for teaching and directing hours. “Mary Poppins” was presented in the Experimental Theatre of the Fine Arts Building in April 1974. Dr. Evan Davis was my voice teacher; Maxine Cameron (wife of the dean of students) was my piano teacher. It was my privilege to visit with other students in the Cameron home and discuss things in general. It was reported at that event that BYU rated 4th in the nation among universities in music and in education; and that Harvard, I believe it was, had a higher suicide rate than BYU and was only about 10,000 in enrollment compared to 25,000 at BYU. We completed the year of school there, Sue and I. I served as treasurer of the BYU Music Education National Conference, the national organization in music education. Sue and I attended the M.E.N.C.’s national convention at Anaheim, California. We attended numerous concerts, and programs given by different groups from all over the U.S. A huge gym like room was filled with booths where books, instruments, and all sorts of supplies were on display. The highlight of our trip, in addition to flying, was seeing quite a lot of Disneyland. Our favorite ride was the one through which were located costumed dolls representing many nations and all singing “I’d Like to Teach The World To Sing”, in perfect harmony, in their native tongues. It was special, and we were very close. “Down Town” and “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing” were two of the numbers that Sue played very well on her violin.
While at Provo, Monna and Jim and their two boys came to see us. Sean and Jeff enjoyed standing in the space behind the back seat of the Volkswagen as we buzzed about Provo with Monna and Jim in the car, too.
Ann was very popular with the fellows; although she usually went with just one boy at a time for a number of months at least.
Mother and Aunt Laverne had sold their home in Salt Lake. Mother took and apartment in Preston, Idaho in 1972. Aunt Laverne’s son-in-law, Verl Tippetts died. She and Ruth, her daughter bought a home in Preston. We always enjoyed them very much. We often visited Aunt Lillis, Mother’s youngest sister, and Uncle Leon Sorensen in Georgetown, Idaho. We enjoyed them so much and shared a loving relationship through the years.
In the summer of 1974, after Frank graduated from High School, our family took a trip in a motor home and two trailers to Yellowstone and Teton National Parks. Rex rented a motor home that had sleeping space for six; Dale and Mary had a trailer of their own that slept four (or more); Monna and Jim had a little one that slept four; (they just had Sean and Jeff then) Mary and Dale had little Jason. Paige, Frank, Ann and Sue were with us. It was so much fun traveling and watching the procession of us winding our way on the highway in the mountainous country with wooded slopes of mountains and a creek and Snake River along the way. We were gone a number of days.
We had Family Home Evening around the campfire one night. It was a special joyful time. We had prepared the children during the day by telling them the story of Abraham and his wife Sarah, the biblical characters. Then that night we put robes on the boys and tied towels around their heads in turban fashion as they played the parts of Abraham, Sarah and their son. We sang songs the children knew like: “I Am A Child Of God”, “Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam” and others. We also played the accordions and sang other songs. Folks camping nearby came to listen and voiced appreciation for the music and our family togetherness. We had lots of fun and pulled pranks on each other.
As we camped the first night at the Pine Bar Campground on the Tin Cup Creek we drove down to the gym for the dance. Afterwards Mary sprained her ankle stepping out of the trailer. We thought it might be broken and took her in to the emergency room at the Soda Springs Hospital. We were thankful that it was not broken. It was painful but she didn’t let it dampen her spirits or prevent us from going on our way as planned.
Mary Poppins was again directed by me, rehearsals and performances in the Soda Springs High School auditorium. Songs were done at Thirkill, Thatcher and Grace Schools. Ann Warner Robinette was my assistant director and very talented. Kathy Wright was the drama judge. I believe that Jan Mumford was the music judge. Ann was picked by them for Mary Poppins. They wanted Sue to take the part of Burt but Sue declined due to believing that her friends would feel bad because she had a major role and they didn’t. Mrs. Duane Beins and her sister were assistants who did not want to be paid. Sue (Alice Wilson’s granddaughter) helped where needed by playing games and keeping the children busy who were not rehearsing. We used the tape recorder a lot. Jan Mumford was our accompanist. Alice Wilson was a close friend. Her granddaughter, Sue, and I learned to love one another.
1976
Our first granddaughter Mae Dawn Lienemann, was born May 1976. The Lienemanns ended up with four birthdays right in a row. Sean’s is the 5th, Mae Dawn’s the 6th, Becky’s is the 7th and Monna’s is the 8th. Mae Dawn was a beautiful, plump, dark-haired baby. How she was loved! As Monna wrote it was a cesarean birth. Mae Dawn was named after her two grandmothers, Leila Mae Lienemann and myself as my middle name is Dawn.
I worked for a short time for Louise Brick in her home in Pocatello as housekeeper, cook, and companion. Then for a short time for Apostle Howard W. Hunter in his home in Salt Lake City, Utah. Sister Hunter had a stroke and had to have someone with her all the time. She was mobile but her speech and reasoning was effected. It was a beautiful home, so much in contrast with the little humble home of Louise Brick. Louise and I loved each other. One of the highlights of working at the Hunter’s was taking Clara Mae Hunter to the annual Mormon Church Conference, parking my car among the general authorities like Neil Maxwell, Ezra Taft Benson and President and Sister Spencer W. Kimball. I will always remember the radiant face that shone from Howard Hunter’s countenance as he greeted me when I drove up to his home and he helped me park my car next to his. He and Sister Hunter had a rare loving relationship which was evidenced in their faces and his faithful care of her. Often in the evenings I would visit with him for a few minutes in his study. he always took the time pleasantly and seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. I remember especially one night when I took my lovely tapestry into his study (where two walls were lined with books) and laid it down on the floor for him to look at. It is the one with Jesus holding a lamb and other sheep around his feet. The colors are beautiful with green grass and a pond of water. Elder Hunter got down on his hands and knees and exclaimed, “Oh, How beautiful!” Then he told me about their trip with the Kimballs to the Holy Land. How dirty and crowded Bethlehem is with travelers and traders. It sits on a hill. Out away from the town are cliffs with caves in the sides where the shepherd leads his flock of sheep at night by playing the flute. The sheep follow him and stay in the cave while he guards them from outside and keeps the wolves away. From this experience with Elder Hunter I received inspiration to write the words and music to another original song entitled “I Knelt At The Foot of The Master by the Apostle of the Lord”. Their home was elegant. The glass chandelier over the dining room table was immense. The view from the patio at night of Salt Lake was gorgeous. The home sits high on the east bench, looking down at the city. We were above the pollution level.
A SPECIAL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE took place one night. I was awakened about 4 a.m. hearing my mother’s voice calling my name in a soft and despairing tone. I learned later that day when I called her that she had awakened from a bad dream at the same time. In her dream her father, Jedediah Morgan Tippets, came to her door carrying me as a small child, I was sick. Mother said in her dream, “Papa, I am going to take her to the hospital.” Grandpa replied, “No, Edith, do for her what you can yourself.” That same day I interpreted the voice calling me as the spirit of the Holy ghost telling me to do what I can to ease her burdens and care for her throughout her elderly years. I interpreted her dream as the spirit of the Holy Ghost telling her not ever to do anything that would effect my hospitalization but to do for me what she can herself. I believe that Grandpa’s speaking to her was effective.
FRANK ACCEPTED HIS CALL TO SERVE A MISSION IN SOUTH AMERICA. Serving until January 1978, I believe it was, he spent time in Colombia but most of the time in Ecuador. How he grew spiritually and in the gospel of Jesus Christ as he worked with and learned to speak the Spanish language with the people he came to love. It was hard at first as he had difficulty loving the people because of the poverty and dirt that the people lived in. He sent cassette tapes to us and we to him. His letters were cherished. One of his mission presidents, President Heward and his wife from Arizona, attended Frank and Lesa’s wedding.
1977
Rex’s relatives in Idaho Falls were visited by us several times this year. His Uncle Alma’s widow, Ruth (known as “Doll”), her daughter Helen and husband Nello Boncelli, and daughter Pat (or maybe it was Pat’s twin Paul) and her husband also lived there. I believe Ann, Sue, Mary and Monna all visited Aunt Doll that year.
1978
Monna and Jim’s fourth child, Dray Diedrick (sp?) was born in April. A little slender baby he was with wobbly arms and legs. We thought he might never hold his own head up. It wasn’t long until he had won all of our hearts over with his darling ways.
Frank returned from his mission. We met him at the airport in Salt Lake City. His arrival did not take place on the aircraft that we expected him on. We were so sad about that and a little worried. Then it was announced that passengers which had been scheduled to arrive on the expected flight would be coming in on the next one. We waited anxiously with anticipation. I was the first one that saw him coming in towards the terminal doorway. I couldn’t stop fairly yelling, “There he is! There he is!” The family members watching me said that I was jumping up and down. If I was, and I guess I was, I surely wasn’t aware of it. We all flooded him with many questions, hardly giving him time to answer one before we asked others. He looked good, had gained weight but lost a lot compared to the heavy fellow he was for a time on his mission. (The chicken foot soup must have agreed with him.)
Frank reported his mission to the High Council in Grace as he represented the Thatcher Ward while on his mission. Thatcher Ward was the home ward of Merlin and Earline Smith. He reported to one or more of the Grace Wards, the Gray’s Lake Ward and our Soda Springs 4th Ward. I heard most of his reports and enjoyed each one of them as did other members of the family.
Rex continued on at Monsanto until January of 1978, at which time he took medical retirement due to emphysema and a heart condition. He was officially retired in August that year.
Ann had first chair in the flute section of the Soda Springs High School Band and Sue was first chair in the clarinet section. Ann was chosen along with a limited number of other High School students to sing in the top choir known as the “Soda Pops Choir”. Sue was chosen to be in the Drill Team. The costumes were beautiful. The name of the Soda Springs mascot is the “Cardinal” and the school colors are red and black. The concerts in the spring and at Christmas were so lovely. Both girls were in the concert choir. The Pops Choir also took a tour to San Francisco and Disneyland in California and then down into Mexico. And became homesick on her trip and called home. Once she was caught in an elevator in one of the big cities and became very frightened. Ann worked part time at the cafe operated by the Ashley family called the “B&T”.
Mother was at home in Preston and we visited her as often as possible. She came and spent a night or so with us once in awhile. She continued to serve the sick, visit the nursing home, attend Choir practice, Sunday meetings, the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers, and the Preston Culture Club. Once a few years ago, Mary, Ann, Sue, myself and Mother entertained the Culture Club with poetry Mother had written, songs, flute, piano and accordion numbers. The latter were the group’s favorite musical numbers and received the loudest applause. Mother kept a journal for years. She took a couple of trips with Ruth and Laverne into parts of interest throughout the western part of the United States. Her home is kept orderly, peaceful and serene, as is her person. She is much loved by people in the family and folks in Preston and highly respected by Bishops Vern Klippert and Joseph Garner. She filled the assignment to write a weekly letter to all the missionaries out in the field from her ward in Preston for Bishop Klippert. While she was in Bishop Garner’s ward she cared for two elderly ladies. In 1979 she took care of 90 year old Mrs. Palmer, walking six blocks to the Palmer home for 8 months at age 80.
The 1980s brought more changes to our family. In the Spring of 1980 Becky, Monna and Jim’s fifth child was born. Her Dad calls her Freddie. I am not sure why.
One of the saddest of instances in our family occurred a few weeks before that. Mary Lee was several months pregnant when the baby, Jeremy was born prematurely. He was so little and he struggled so hard to survive but it wasn’t to be. Mary commented to us one day “One thing I know, if Jeremy dies Grandma Chat will take good care of him in Heaven.” I am sure that she was right. Mary was so broken hearted and commented on how hard it was to go home with empty arms. Rex and I felt so sad for her. We sang some of our favorite songs for her on the way home. I hope it helped. Mary Lee had so many problems carrying her children. If she had carried all of her babies full term, she and Dale would have had a large family. I think they would have had 9 children by 1985.
Even with all of the difficulties we had a lot of wonderful times together. In the spring of 1982 the Lienemanns came for an extended visit and Sue, Lesa and Frank were also here. There were games of Pinochle, Donkey. Sean, Jeff, and Jason put on a play called “The Girlfriend”. I don’t think we have ever laughed quite so hard. One would play the man, one the girlfriend and one the child. The funniest part came when whomever was the girl wanted to kiss the husband.
Of course Dale and Jim spent a lot of time together as they always have. They are so close it is almost like they are brothers. One Sunday before they left we took fired chicken and goodies and had a picnic. On the way over, I told Dray the story of the “Three little Pigs” and “Goldilocks” over and over. Then he climbed onto Dale’s lap, where Mae Dawn had a seat too, and commenced to tell Dale the story of the “Three Little Pigs”. He told just bits and pieces to Dale who bragged about Dray’s story telling. Dray got to the part where the big bad wolf came to the little brick house where all the pigs were and stopped. Dale asked what happened to the three little pigs and Dray answered “Oh, the big bad wolf ate them up.” We all laughed. I had been so careful to not tell anything gory in the stories I told him.
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| Ann and Rex on her wedding day (CDH0289) |
In November of that same year, Lesa and Frank had their first child, a boy whom they named Kelly Rex. A week later Monna had her sixth child, a girl named Callie. In the winter of 1982 Monna and Jim and their family were transferred to Germany. During their last visit at home we had a wonderful time. We all spent Christmas Eve together, even Frank and Lesa. We had a wonderful time sleigh riding. Even Jim and Frank. A couple of little sleighs were flattened.
The little children and I had several “Tea Parties” while they were here. Silver Tea Time is traditional in our family. Even Mary and Monna as little girls drank silver tea (made of hot water, milk and sugar). We used my very prettiest small glasses, pitcher, plates for graham crackers, and chopped up bits of a huge chocolate candy kiss. What a charmer little two and a half year old Becky is. How mischievous and loving is four and a half year old Dray. Mae Dawn is a pretty little girl and growing up so fast. My relationship with them is so special. I love being “Grandma Tea Party”. While the family was all together Rex was beaming one day with big smiles and I asked why he was beaming. He answered “Because I am so happy”. It truly was a wondrous occasion. Sadly it would be the last happy time we would all be together. Before Monna and Jim would return from Germany Rex would be gone.
In the spring of 1983 Frank graduated from BYU and they left for a job in California. They will be living close to Lesa’s family. I think it was hard for Frank to move so far away.
In early September we took a gorgeous drive with Aunt Lillis and Uncle Leon. We drove over to Swan Lake, over the Pine Creek Pass into the Teton Basin. We had a very good time laughing, joking singing and visiting. Rex was a tease. We went over a few miles in the Alpine area looking for an ice cream cone (it had to be a cone, not a bar). Rex said “Well, we’ll go to Idaho Falls (50 miles away) and get one if we have to. We called that strip of road “The Ice Cream Road” and laughed about it. We finally found the cone at a drive in Thayne, Wyoming. Driving back to Soda through Wayan and over Tin Cup was meaningful. Uncle Leon commented that it was like seeing the country where we used to live for the first time because before he had always had to drive. It was one of the last if not the last thing we did with Uncle Leon. He passed away three months later in December.
Just three days after that drive, Rex had a minor stroke. It affected his left arm some but he fortunately was able to recover quickly. It still scared the family pretty bad.
In November Rex and I took a trip to visit Lesa and Frank in Morgan Hill, California where they were living. What a happy reunion. Little Kelly had sure grown. He was very active, running around a little awkwardly, falling down and picking himself up quickly and off he would go again. Kelly would get into everything and was a great scatterer. We have pictures of this happy, smiley little guy pulling all the books off from the book shelf; pulling pots and pans out of the cupboard. Lesa got a picture of him when he had climbed into the cupboard after pulling out the pots, etc. We visited Monterey and the Carmel Mission. I had always wanted to visit one of the old Spanish Missions since I had lived with Mother in San Francisco so many years before. Poor Lesa got so car sick while we were touring. She was pregnant with Tara at the time.
On the way back to Soda Springs we were involved in an accident. We were traveling east on the interstate in the left lane. Ahead of us in the right lane was the big orange snowplow. We drew up close to pass the plow. Just as we did he turned directly in front of us. Rex tried to miss the plow but it was too late. The right side of our bumper struck the plow. Rex managed to steer the car into the barrow pit but our car was so smashed up. A man had left a U-Haul trailer in the middle of the freeway.
December brought a double tragedy. Mary lost another baby and Uncle Leon passed away.
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| Nic with Rex & I (CDH0171) |
For a time during 1984 I took care of Aunt Lillis in our home in Soda Springs. She is such a beautiful person. It became too much and she decided to go into the rest home. First she tried the one in Pocatello but quickly asked to be transferred to Soda Springs. The girls are very good about going to visit her.
1985
In April we found out that Rex had liver cancer. He had been suffering all winter with his ulcer. When he finally went to the Doctor in the spring they diagnosed his cancer. He only lived three weeks from the time they discovered it. Monna flew home from Germany and Frank came back from California.
In June of 1985 I wrote the following:
“Yesterday toward evening I looked at the calendar, thinking about the time recently gone by. I remember thinking “Rex died five days ago; two weeks ago; and how it was (June 4, 1985, Tuesday; exactly one 4 week period since Rex was taken to the Caribou Memorial Hospital) 4 weeks since I stayed all night in the room with Rex. I miss him so.
Then my thinking and feelings took me back to another time when I said, or was thinking, “Rex, we’ve been married 96 hours; then a week; three weeks, etc.” And we felt so close. I also remembered the details of our short honeymoon in Star Valley. IT SEEMS LIKE SUCH A SHORT TIME AGO June 12, 1944 and the days following. And recently this year Rex and I thought “We will have our 41st wedding anniversary June 12th.” But he is not here to share it with me.
Usually I try to think of Rex as he was when we first met; the fun we had dating and singing; our wedding day; how strong and muscular he was; the warmth ofhis arms holding me close to him. The latter lasted all our lives except when in the minority of times we had some conflict. He had the same love in his heart and strong arms holding me close until he became so ill he could not do it in May. The late night of the 7th, Tuesday, he did hold me for a moment in his arms but soon pushed me away because of the pressure on his side and liver was uncomfortable for him, just hours before he died. The 11 days he was home with the family taking care of him, he reached back and held his arm on my leg for a precious moment then moved away so that the space could be between us and he rested better. This was so unlike my Rex.
Memories flood my heart and mind. How grateful I am for the good things in our lives. There were so many.”
A few days later on our 41st anniversary I was inspired to write a song about our anniversary. The words and melody came to me while I was taking a bath and curling my hair. I think a good tile for it might be “We Said, ‘ I Do’.”
Forty-one years ago today I said, “I Do”, you said “I Do”.
Forty-one years ago Lilacs were in full bloom,
They filled the room with lovely fragrance.
Two Mothers wise had tears in their eyes because they knew
Life holds for all trials joy and sorrows too.
Now you are gone and I linger on. I’m missing you,
Our children and I are doing our best to you to be true.
Forty-one years ago today I said, “I Do”, you said “I Do”.
Forty-one years ago Lilacs were in full bloom,
They filled the room with lovely fragrance.
I cannot express the depth of feeling I had realizing the sacredness of marriage; the sweet newness and youth we brought to each other when we married. I remember so well the details of the day. How meaningful it was for a man to take on the responsibilities of marriage and providing for a wife; and then a family of five children and a nephew. How innocent we were and full of dreams and goals for the future. The significance of that day, June 12, 1944, how can we measure it or express it fully? So many mixed emotions. I most often think of Rex when he was youg; Rex, a country boy, so wholesome and trusting; and I, a town girl, knowing little about homemaking. I could make good bread and fry potatoes and that is what I knew about cooking. I’ve always been glad that I learned about housekeeping from Grandma Hayes.
Three things that were especially meaningful just to Rex and me.
We had two songs that we considered our favorites: "Side by Side," and "My Best to You."
We loved these words and sang them often together. A third one we liked really well too was "Side by Side." (If I were a swearing woman, I would swear at this typewriter. I don't know how to control the margins.) The music and words to the first one are in this book. If we can locate the piano score and words for the other two we will include them also.
Here are the words as I remember them to "My Best to You:"
"Here's to love and laughter, yours forever after.
May there always be happiness in your heart:" (chorus)
"My best to you, may your dreams come true;
May old Father Time never be unkind.
So here's to you; may your skies be blue and your love blest;
That's my best to you."
The words to the third song, as I remember them, went like this:
(A jolly, happy song, and not to be sung slowly.)
"Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money;
Maybe we're ragged and funny;
But we travel along, singing a song, side by side.
Don't know what's coming tomorrow;
Maybe it's trouble and sorrow;
But we travel the road, sharing the load, side by side.
Through all kinds of weather, what if the sky should fall;
But it doesn't really matter . . . . . . . . . (don't remember).
When they've all had their troubles and parted;
We'll be the same as we started;
Just traveling along, singing a song, side by side."
It is catchy and fun to sing. Years after Rex died I wrote a letter for Ruth and Odell Stoor's 50th wedding anniversary celebration at Wayan. I used the words, part of them, in this song dedicating it to them.
Oh how I love and miss Momma and Daddy. Thanks Frank for doing this blog. I just returned home from church today and wanted to write a letter to my Becky and found an email with this address. I will try to add to this blog before evening. I want to write about the last week of Mom's life so I will have to have a box of kleenex handy. I love you Mom and Dad
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